Ironman - 13 days

I have been wanting to go to sleep since 7pm. I manage a full day at work still, but my mental capacity is not what it was a few months ago. My emotional capacity is lacking as well - I have very limited patience with situations that aren't resolving themselves.
I had one last good training this weekend. My brother came up to Placid with me on Saturday and we went for a bike loop together. It was a fun and easy 75kms. On Sunday morning we did a 2km swim and a 12km run, and it was smooth sailing...but today is Monday, the day of rest, and I am tired.

I have let a bunch of not urgent, not important things fall through the cracks. Stuff like grooming - nails, hair, the works. No time for appointments.
I am also putting off major life decisions for a few weeks - I have been tempted to make a few irrevocable calls, but I am biting my tongue.
The preparation email for the IronMan was sent out today. Its too complex for my current brain capacity. I am waiting for the moment where i will start to feel excited. I did realize this weekend that i am more fit then i thought. I did five 90km bike loops and two 140km bike loops in preparation for this race, and the last ride was nothing like the first. My bike is broken, but apparently it will get fixed in time, which is great news. Truth be told I really panicked when I was told the carbon frame was broken, but Gilbert at the Sports Shop tells me that there is a solution...
Swimming is very easy now. I haven't pushed myself to run hard for quite some time, but I figure I will figure out what needs to happen on race day and just get it done.
What I miss most is the moral support I was getting a few months back. There is a big void there, and the timing of it is unfortunate. But its for a very valid reason. Such is life I guess. It would be worse not to continue at this point - it would be worse to decide to quit. And the Ironman is not about a finishing in a certain time for me - its about setting a very ambitious goal, and achieving it - the time it takes doesn't matter (as long as its within the 17 hours). Doing that brings a huge amount of self esteem. For me, it means knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that I can accomplish whatever I set my mind to - if I have control over the outcome that is. And if I don't, well I don't, and so then its best to just let it go.
They say there is nothing more to be done to build endurance for this race at this point - the important thing is a few good workouts this week - and then next week, a few short workouts in the different disciplines - 20-30 minutes max so your body remembers...
There are many things I would like my body and my mind to forget, and then again, this too shall pass.